I used to think lack of self-confidence held me back. Yeah, maybe sometimes. But what is really detrimental to my forward movement is anger.
I just wrote about being sick and my body trying to tell me something. An amazing friend checked on me and asked if I was familiar with Louise Hay and her books about emotional causes of physical symptoms. I have read Hay and do buy into her theory, overall. (Of course I hadn’t thought about it EVEN THOUGH I HAD JUST WRITTEN ABOUT LISTENING TO MY BODY. Duh!) According to Hay, fever is related to anger. Her new thought pattern to lessen the anger (and fever) is, “I am the cool, calm expression of peace and love.”
Well, no wonder I’m feverish. I am most certainly not cool, nor calm. Expression of peace and love? Not so much. You know what I am? Angry. Or at least some variation of it. Frustrated. Annoyed. Irritated. Upset. Pissed the hell off.
I also recently posted about my past, and how it stops me from moving ahead. Part of that is–you guessed it–my anger. I have been holding onto anger towards someone (well, someones). But you know at whom I’m really angry? Ding, ding, ding! Myself. Angry about my choices. Angry about my gullibility. Angry about my mistakes. Angry about my stupidity. I think I want to hurt the other people I’m angry with. But I really only hurt myself.
So, dear person who pissed me off, I wish you peace and love. And dear me, I wish you peace and love too. (I hope that cools me off.)