OK, this is going to be about sex. Let just put that out there. But keep your pants on, it isn’t a Penthouse Letter.
When we are teenagers—or even pre-teens, especially nowadays—we need to figure out sex. Do we want to do it? Who would we do it with? What exactly are we willing to do? We make our own rules and discover our limits…and then rewrite our rules as we learn, experiment, and age.
I made–what I considered then to be–huge mistakes concerning sex when I was a teenager. I’ve since realized…who gives a fuck?! Seriously, whether I did it at 16 or not, lost it to a guy I barely knew or a long-term boyfriend, had a one night stand, or was a bad lay; I didn’t ruin my life. My angst over my actions was more detrimental than anything I actually did, or didn’t do.
After we make our rules, break our rules, and change our rules; new ones are often placed upon us. We end up in a serious relationship or marriage and there are certain expectations. And if we choose not to go with the usual expectations, we determine with our partner(s) certain boundaries that work for our relationship.
So what happens if we never had those limits imposed on us, or suddenly find ourselves single again (as I did) and have to refigure how we’re going to navigate these waters? I don’t have the same hang-ups I did when I was younger. Nor the same emotional needs. But I do have the same insecurities. And uncertainties. I guess I need to remember that whole angst vs. actions thing.
Now I’m a grown woman and have to figure out sex again. Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? Shouldn’t this be easier than when I was sixteen? And what exactly happened to Dr. Ruth; why isn’t she around now that I need her again?!