I recently realized how little silence I have in my life. Or rather, how little silence I ALLOW in my life. I almost always have the radio, TV, or iTunes on. I’m often alone, so maybe this is a way to feel like I’m surrounded by other people. Or, it could be a way to stop my thoughts, which tend to run rampant when my mind is not distracted.
I have actually gone on walks in the woods while plugged into my iPod. Seriously, I block out the leaves rustling, birds singing, and waves lapping with talking and singing. As I write this, I sit in peace and quiet, right? Nope, I’m hitting repeat before the last note of the song I’m listening to plays.
Some of my favorite moments have been sitting in silence with another person. Not uncomfortable silence, but rather the kind that makes you realize you have reached a point in your relationship where you can just be with the other person instead of filling the time with noise.
Why can’t I find that comfortable silence with myself?
Observation… curious, honest self-observation… this is a GIFT, and you have it!
Sometimes, no matter how much I want to fill up the room with “noise,” I just force myself to sit in silence. I notice the compulsion to “fill the time with noise” and the strange anxiety that comes with the silence. It’s uncomfortable… but if I can sit with this for awhile and just let the complusions “be,” they often begin to drift away and I’m surprised at how peaceful and calm and… silent I become.
Hope your 2012 is filled with peace & calm 🙂
Oh wow, Therese, thanks so much for reading and commenting!
Since I’m not using the self-observation to beat myself up anymore, it totally is a gift.
Like most uncomfortable things, if we force ourselves to sit with it, the “bad” fades and we can see the “good.”