Reunion

Posted on May 26, 2011 by Lissa

I’ve realized that this blog actually began months ago. A few weeks before our 20th high school reunion, I found out that one of the popular girls was nervous about attending and seeing her old friends. I was inspired to quell her fears…and my own. So, I posted a note on Facebook and friended her.

I figured that I should share my first (writing) attempt at being funny and oh so humble. Here you go!

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Open Letter to my Classmates

Our high school reunion is two weeks away. My plan is that the doors will fly open, wind will blow my hair, the needle will scratch across the record, heads will turn, and jaws will drop. Ain’t gonna happen. I’m still ten pounds heavier than I want to be and the scale is not budging. The show-stopping dress I ordered doesn’t fit. And I still don’t know what to do with my hair. I’m not rich and famous, nor do I have brilliant stories to impress you with.

Let’s face it, I’m not Molly Ringwald and this isn’t a John Hughes movie.  But you know what? I’m surprisingly okay with that.

I’m looking forward to a few cold drinks, some wonderfully cheesy music, and being with people I am connected to. I don’t care what you look like or what you are wearing, what you do for a living or for fun.  I care that you were there for an important part of my life.

Some of you tortured me. Some of you showed me kindness. Some of you ignored me. But whatever our relationship was back then, I want to thank you for being the person you were. You helped me become the person I am today…and that person ain’t half bad.

I also want thank you for being the person you are today. If you are like me, you’re a very different one than twenty years ago.  Some of you have been with me since then, through thick and thin. Some of you I have reconnected with and my life has become better for it. Some of you have left a hole in my heart due to the distance between us. Some of you I’ve never truly known.  No matter. I am still excited to see you, and to get to know you as the person you have become.

To be honest, I’m a little nervous. If you are too, let me know and we can walk in together, holding hands with our heads up high.

However, I’m still kinda hoping that Alan Cumming shows up and whisks me away in his helicopter.

With love,

Melissa

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BFF

Posted on May 21, 2011 by Lissa

Wanted: BFF

Must be kinda smart, a bit silly, totally supportive, fun and funny, quite understanding, and gently honest.

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I don’t have a best friend. (Well, I do, but it’s my ex-husband which is weird and a whole other story.) I met my best childhood friend on the first day of kindergarten. We each expanded our group of friends in jr. high and grew a bit apart in high school. We’ve remained friends–with varying levels of interaction through the years–but not besties.  I still have occasional communication with the girl who was my best friend in high school, but even then I wasn’t HER best friend. One of my other friends from that time became my best friend, but our lives took different paths and she didn’t want to spend time with someone who didn’t have much in common with her. So I got dumped. (Seriously, my friend dumped me. Not the we-ran-in-different-circles-and-didn’t-have-time-for-each-other kinda thing. The I-was-no-longer-needed-or-wanted-since-she-had-new-friends-with-stuff-in-common kinda thing. Flat out dumped. Who the hell does that happen to?!) My most recent best friendship was short lived and burnt me. I do have some very dear long-term friends whom I love. Also, I have made new ones recently, and reconnected with some too.

But there isn’t anyone I immediately call when I have news. I’m not anyone’s first call either. I want to be that special someone. The one who’s aware of everything that’s happening in her life, while she’s privy to every detail about mine too. You know, the lunching/cry on each other’s shoulder/travel to fabulous resorts/rush over at 2 AM in pyjamas/brunch every weekend/eat raw cookie dough and drink wine/shopping/give her eulogy kind of friend. BFF. That’s what I need. Or have I just been watching too many chick flicks?

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4-0

Posted on May 19, 2011 by Lissa

I just celebrated a birthday. Not a big one, an almost big one. 39. One year until the (what I’m told should be) dreaded 4-0. But…I’m not dreading 40. I’m looking forward to my 40s. After all, it’s the new 30s, right? (I don’t know what that really means, but all the glossy magazines I’m too self-righteous to buy make it seem like a good thing.) My 20s were trying to be who I thought I should. My 30s have been figuring out who I want to be. My 40s are going to be showing who I truly am. The thing is, I’ve decided I truly am a brilliant, hysterically funny, hot as hell, rich, successful philanthropist. If I’m going to be showing that version of me when I turn 40, I really better get to work in the next year!

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Begin

Posted on May 11, 2011 by Lissa

The day I graduated my life was going to begin. The day I got married my life was going to begin. The day I started a job my life was going to begin. The day I got divorced my life was going to begin. The day I moved my life was going to begin. Guess what. I’m almost forty, alone, broke, (technically) homeless, and waiting for my life to begin. Meanwhile I’ve had many adventures, earned a couple of degrees, failed often, traveled to amazing places, had my heart broken a few times, met incredible people, righted various wrongs, suffered devastating losses, and learned countless lessons. And yet I’m still waiting for my life to begin.

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Time

Posted on May 5, 2011 by Lissa

It is time. It is time to spew it. To vomit it out. To spring it forth. To share it. Or not. To put it out there. To have it wither and die. To grow stale. To blossom. To run rampant. I don’t care which. Well, that’s a lie. I do. But not as much as before. So, it is time to be. And to actually do.  This may be the end of my words, resting here on a screen. But it is the beginning of me. It is time. Fina-fucking-lly.

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